'SEEKING SELF' POEMS by MELBOURNE POET PAMELA SIDNEY

2006-12-21T13:24:00.003+11:00

Seeking Self

1.

The moment told her she was more than she knew.
Browsing in the newsagents' she stopped to look.
A magazine headline.
Black fancy script.
Art Deco earth-goddess
holding a sheaf of wheat in her hand
caught her eye
to a young mother, barely out of her teens
each experience in this grown-up world
was brand new.

Just a few words
would influence the rest of her life
begin a journey to the core of her existence.

The veiled future would release
in glimpses small fragments of knowing
that astrology is soul-mate
to magic and alchemy
that poetry adores mythology
that theatre is more than song and dance
that life is existential pain and revolution.

Soon she would be making whole
new-worlds unfolding before her.

2004-11-29T14:39:00.010+11:00

Seeking Self
2.

A vast mystical net swept her
to a pin-point of singularity
black voids in space
worm holes
'the uncertainty principal'
in her lifetime, from Einstein
to Hawking's 'Brief History of Time'
she space-danced cosmic geometry
photos, quarks, quasars, arrows of time
breathless, stilled only by the Mandelbrot Set
she watched in wonder
as fractal shapes showed her infinity.

Her concept of the universe altered forever.

She learned by heart
the correspondences
of planets and galaxies
pondered over parchments
handed down from old Chaldea
penned by star-scribes of Babylonia.

Beyond earth, sun, asteroid, galaxy
beyond dark matter
to he earliest outreach of the universe
mesmerised, she saw the nurseries
where stars are birthed
where super nova explode
where black holes swallow
the swirling shapes
and stars emerge as gamma rays.

Discovering Dion
3.

her house began to fill
rare extraordinary books
exploring the nature of all things
provoking curiosity:
mystical mandalas
ancient hieroglyphs
Oracles of Delphi
Shaman trance
folk tales of unknown origin

wild-flower secrets
entwined inside elusive fables
their faint echos played out
in scarce remembered twilights
of parallel worlds
barren wastelands balanced
between the supernatural
and earthly dimensions

scouring the occult
early works of Aleister Crowley
Idris Shah's oriental magic
teachings of Gardener and Gareth Knight
she came to the Knights Templar
Golden Dawn and Cagliostro

aware she must study
the converse in magical arts
she read 'The Black Art' of Rolo Ahmed
'Necronomicon' by The Mad Arab -
12th century, ancient Sumeria
authorship clouded
in unspeakable deeds
murderous revenge and jealousy
said to be penned by one
Abdul Alhazred

but it was Dion Fortune
ushered her through
the underworld realm of gentle Anubis
black dog custodian of the dead
Anubis shepherder of souls
measurer of hearts
against
Maat's white feather of Truth
and Thoth
scribe to the gods
his ivory palet1te
reed pens
ink of black and red
faithfully recording
the weighing of Truth
to reward with cakes, ale
the presence of Osiris
when a soul is found true
by trial in the Great Balance

Dion took her across a threshold
beyond this earthly incarnation
to show her the ancient Egyptian way
of coming forth by day